Road Trippin'

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving and that they spent some quality time with those whom they love, enjoy and even tolerate. I didn’t really do anything except work and this has been the same thing six years running so this is not a new feeling. The thing that I am most thankful for is the fact that this year I didn’t have to deal with the disgusting hoard called the Amercian Consumer. There were no pleas for Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom Soup, French’s Fired Onions, canned yams, cranberries whole/jellied and the other necessities that T-day requires. To say that working retail in the holiday season brought forth a feeling of disgust deep within my soul simply doesn’t cover it. I do not think that I have ever encountered such a rude and obnoxious breed as the American when shopping. What brutes! The Wednesday before Thanksgiving is grocer’s nightmare. Well, the owners are going to make loot, but his underlings are going to work like sled dogs and get treated like shit all the way around. This year I could give a shit about the holidaze. I miss the people but all of the bullshit that surrounds this time of year is simply that.

My main man Solomon has decided that trying to convert me is a complete waste of time (see, the man possesses wisdom after all) and now we spend our Tuesdays trying out different Korean dishes in between classes (or “battles” as he calls them). Last Tuesday, he invited me to go with him to Daegu, a city of about 2.5 million not far from here. As I have such a busy schedule, penciling this in was not too difficult.

Later that evening his wife showed up and said that she thought me going would be a wonderful idea. I was only told that some of her students would be going and that it would be fun. So I figure that this is going to be a funky little field trip and I guess I am down with the program. Why not?

Then it happened. My boss got wind of this. She pulls me aside and starts to stress that perhaps I should use my Saturday for resting. “Do I appear crabby?” I ask. “Crabby?” We break out the dictionary. “Oh, no.” Well after a bit of prodding I discover that what she is very fearful of others recruiting me to work for them and that if I go off on this trip I will be teaching others the splendid secrets of mighty English Language. She fears that Solomon’s wife, Susan, has told the student’s parents that a native English speaker will be on this trip and that she has used this fact as a recruiting tool to entice people to send their kids on this adventure. Immediately I stress to Lydia that there is no way I am doing any kind of work as I am far to lazy for that kind of shit and further, of all the things that I am interested in doing on my days off, teaching isn’t one of them. I know how to kill a day. I can destroy them with ill conceived behavior and misguided thought so for her to think that I am going to try and make a few won on the side is simply silly. Further, I stress that fact that I have no idea what they are going to do on this trip and that I was simply invited as a friend of Solomon, someone whom she employs. Plus, Susan used to work for her so Lydia should simply lighten up.

OK, so I didn’t add that but I was certainly thinking it. Lydia then said that she would call Susan and find out what this was all about. I said OK and then pressed on to other things in my not so busy week.

I did have an interesting encounter with some people later that evening which is worthy to note. While I was eating between classes, I ran into a Canadian whom I had seen at Mindy’s on a few occasions. He is a really nice guy and has been in Pohang for about 9 months. We chat and he says that later he is going to Mindy’s to play Trivial Pursuit with some other people and that I should come down if I have the time. Fine. I have one little project that I want to complete before the night is over and I’ll think about it if I have some time after that. This is my long day and my last class doesn’t end until 10:30 pm.

One of the text books that we use has a short section on “BEATLEMANIA” and I decided that I was going to teach it whether the other teachers liked it or not (FUCKIN’ AMERICANS!!). I downloaded some of the old Ed Sullivan footage and then decided that, as it is relatively inexpensive, I could burn some Beatles songs onto CDs and pass them out to the kids. Reading about the Beatles without hearing them is sort of pointless in my mind and, although they are not my favorite band in the world, I still possess enough of their music to make a pretty cool disc. I would also include a lyric sheet with all of the songs that are on the videos. So completing this was the first thing I needed to do that evening.

One of the videos that I found was the final concert they did on the top of Abbey Road where they sing “Get Back” and I thought that after seeing this video they should at least have the song. After I get home, I begin to look at the footage and then at the songs in my library and realize that I don’t have The White Album or Let It Be. They are not my favorites (I’ll take Revolver or Sgt. Peppers any day) so I start to look for them on line. This proved to be a complete pain in the ass and my computer was not cooperating as this task was unfolding – it was running slow as hell. I figured that this was a cue to venture downtown and destroy some innocent souls at trivial pursuit.

Well, the game was winding down by the time I got there so I shot a little stick in the interim and was finally introduced to the group who was playing. There were two women, one from Canada and an Australian, and another American from Oklahoma, plus the Canadian who told me to come downtown. They are drinking beer and chatting and the Aussie says that she is going to take a three month trip to the US, starting in S.F. by car, and wants to know what sights to see. So we Americans start talking about that and this is rather fun and the like. Then the topic shifts to America in general and global politics and this starts to become sort of odd as they seem to think that simply because I am a Yank I am going to defend our policies and they are somewhat shocked when I explain that I am REALLY far to the left and that I think Bush should be tried for treason (No, I don’t think that Al Franken was joking when he made those remarks) as his actions, and those of his administration, are immoral and illegal.

Then the Aussie starts to ask about drugs and, as I could give a shit, I tell her my history (scandalous in some circles, tame in others). She says that she has never touched anything stronger than alcohol: as she says this she is chain smoking. The other American lists a bevy of prescription pills that he has abused over the years and now he simply sticks to alcohol. He then admits that he has been picked up twice by the Pohang police while passed out but that it is cool here as all they do is let you sober up and then throw you in a cab, whereas back in the states he’d be charged with a PI and have to appear in court.

“Well, I know what the best high of all is,” says the Canadian, her Polish accent coming through a night of alcohol and nicotine.

I immediate add my personal favorite: “A fat bowl of Indiana Homegrown and a couple of glasses of Cabernet.”

The other American chimes in with: “Sex.”

She shakes her head and says: “No, it is none of those. It is a natural high. The body takes over and everything is crystal clear, perfect. You don’t need sleep, anything and the world is perfect. It’s called ‘mania.’”

Now she has my attention: “Are you bi-polar?”

“No. But I am probably manic depressive.”

“What are the highs like? How long do they last?”

“Only a few hours. Maybe a day or two at the most. But I love them.”

This is what I really want to know. “What are the crashes like?”

“They are bad.”

“Suicidal?”

“Not usually. Nothing that extreme.”

I basically call her a piker and then that is when the attacks start from all fronts. First she is pissed about my comment and I apologize. Then the Aussie starts to chime in about how “bi-polar/manic depressive” is a bullshit term and that it is over-diagnosed and a fuckin’ cop out. If people would simply take responsibility for their lives and their actions they would grow up and move on with whatever it is that they have to do. As it is people freak out and go crying to a doctor and then hope that they will solve problems which are usually of their own creation. She goes on with this train of thought and I ask her is she has suffered from depression and I try to stress that I’m not talking about the “dog ate my homework” or “I just put Pops in a box” kind of depression. She said “no.” I then ask about the other side of the coin. Again, “no.” So, and how do you say this without sounding like a patronizing prick, I tell her that I am extremely happy for her and that she should feel fortunate.

Now I am a patronizing prick.

Sure, I know damned well that arguing with drunks is a fool’s errand but at times it is fun and I knew that I still had awhile until my downloads were completed. I tried to explain that I have that over-diagnosed diagnosis and that I don’t necessarily like it, but that I’ll take it for what it is. As a result I need to take some meds and I know that if I fail to take them, shit can get a bit strange. Better yet, I feel that it would be in my best interest not to discover what life is like without them as I have done a bit of reading on the subject (I write An Unquiet Mind on the inside of a cigarette box and pass it her way) and have a fairly good idea about how this shit works. Is my diagnosis one of the ones that should be seen as a “cop out?” I guess it depends on whom you ask but I try to stress that there are certain people who care about my well being who would be most pissed off if I tried to stop taking my meds and ride the waves again.

I am totally down with the Canuck when it comes to the highs as they have red wine and kind-bud whipped hands down, but the lows . . . Fuck a whole lotta that noise as those are cruel and bizarre and painful and make death seem like a cozy thing to add to one’s list of life experiences. The Aussie ain’t buying.

So we leave it at that and I am certain that I shall meet them again as other aspects of the conversation were cool. Like I said, perhaps she is correct in her assessment. I am but a person of weak character who took an easy way out. I couldn’t handle life so I went to a doc and found a bunch of “happy pills” that make life nothing but ducks and bunnies. The spiders and snakes are back in their little holes and I can skip and play to the music that guides through my various veins. Maybe I should put the pills down and return to what I was dealing with before?

Maybe that bitch has no idea what the fuck she is taking about, should have another shot of Sojo and shut the fuck up?

Yes, that seems to be the best assessment. I mean, I gave her the title of one of the best books on the subjects. If she reads it, she may understand. If not, well I hope she has a great time touring the states.

See, I ain’t so vindictive after all.

When I finally rode home I checked my downloads and now it was time to decide what to put on the CD. As with most activities, there are certain limits and with this project the concern is: how does one make a disc that is representative of the Beatles career, not offensive to the ears of youth and something that I can be pleased with, as these selections are being cast out into the world and heaven knows where they will end up. The final list was as follows:

1. Twist and Shout

2. I Want to Hold Your Hand

3. I Saw Her Standing There

4. Can’t Buy Me Love

5. Roll Over Beethoven

6. Rock & Roll Music

7. Day Tripper

8. Help!

9. Paperback Writer

10. Taxman

11. Norwegian Wood

12. Yellow Submarine

13. Penny Lane

14. Hello Goodbye

15. Strawberry Fields Forever

16. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

17. With a Little Help From My Friends

18. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise)

19. A Day in the Life

20. Here Comes the Sun

21. Something

22. Maxwell’s Silver Hammer

23. Dear Prudence

24. While My Guitar Gently Weeps

25. Revolution

26. Get Back

Obviously, they will not understand most of the stuff that was there and I know that there is a good chance that what I gave them could be turned into coasters or toys or quickly thrown away. This is not my concern as I figured that I gave them a chance and that perhaps one of them may actually dig it enough to run with it for awhile and see where it takes them.

As I didn’t get home until 4:30 am, the next morning/noon was spent burning CDs and then burning extras for the Korean teachers as no one would be giving them this shit either.

Then I thought about it and as I looked at my schedule I realized that there were two other classes that I could offer this to, but that I would be short one CD. So, in that first class, a class with three boys and one girl, I said that they were my TEST MARKET and that one of them would have to make the sacrifice and wait until tomorrow for their CD. In my mind I thought I knew who would agree to this but I was very wrong and what is known as Korean sexism reared its ugly head. The boys all said that Connie, the lone woman, would simply have to wait. She the girl has to wait? Fine, I will abide by the ruling of the masses.

Over all the lesson was well received but most of them could give a shit about black and white footage of the Beatles (Teacher, turn on the color). They read the article and were sad about John Lennon being killed and explaining that event was sort of hard. They didn’t understand that I wanted them to KEEP THE CDs as I really had no use for them – I can make my own coasters, thanks. This was something very alien to them and took a great deal of explaining on my part. But it was cool and I have three other classes to teach it to in the following weeks so I am certain that my presentation will improve.

As for Connie, well I believe that good things come to those who wait. I gave her the Beatles disc but I also included the following:

Scott Teacher’s Crash Course in Miles Davis

So What (Radio Concert from Japan)

Freddie Freeloader Kind of Blue

Blue in Green Kind of Blue

All Blues The Complete Concert 1964

Flamenco Sketches Alternative Take

Autumn Leaves Somethin’ Else

This is actually off of a Cannonball Adderley Album

Which features Miles Davis on Trumpet

On Green Dolphin Street On Green Dolphin Street (UK)

Straight, No Chaser Miles Davis Live At Newport 1958

Générique Ascenseur Pour L’Echafaud

Ah, now that is a nice thing to have. I originally made it for another teacher but thought that everyone should own it. She was baffled as to why I was giving her two discs and I simply said because she has to wait. She seemed pleased, confused, but pleased.

Saturday @ 7:33 am I get a wake up call from Solomon’s wife saying that she will be picking me up in an hour and that our little field trip is on. I shower, pack a bag and figure that not having any idea what this journey is about is sort of a good thing as there is always something pleasing about going somewhere completely blind. Ah, just get into the car and see where it takes you . . .

Our first stop was at a large apartment complex where we picked up a middle school kid (sorry, can’t recall his name) who spoke excellent English and who brought a small bagged filled with freshly baked sweet potatoes which his mother prepared as a travel snack. We also munched on mandarin oranges. This was until we arrived at Wal-mart.

Then we met a van and our party went from four to four adults and 11 children. One of the kids was a student of mine, Michael, and I had no idea where the other kids were from or, for that matter, where we were going or why we were heading there. I was in the van with Solomon, he friend who volunteered to drive (yes, he is now a candidate for sainthood) and a bunch of noisy kids who were scared of me at first but warmed up later. All of the kids proved to be private students of Solomon and his wife. Many Koreans teach English on their own time but if one is under contract here, like I am, having private students is an offense which can lead to deportation. However, many foreigners do it as the money can be very good (up to $75/hour).

It turns out that the British Museum had a traveling exhibit of goodies and we were going to see that. Of course, I didn’t realize this until we all saw the signs. The exhibit was in a hall at Keimyung University. The lines were long so we had lunch in the cafeteria and once again I was the only westerner for what seemed like miles. The kids ate noodles and then we went to the exhibit which was fascinating to say the least. I noticed that there was no way the Brits would let go of the Rosetta Stone, but they were happy to send a replica and an assortment of Rosetta Stone t-shirts and other knick knacks fun the gift shop. Personally, I liked the Renaissance etchings but the kids were captivated by the mummies and anything that was made of gold.

After that we took the return trip to Pohang, got rid of the kids, which was no easy task as they lived all over the city and then headed out for a killer meal with some more of Solomon and Susan’s friends.

Now, in all honesty, I must admit that Lydia’s initial fears turned out to be well founded as they did want me to work for them at an upcoming English camp in January. I made no promises. I was more interested in Susan’s offer to teach me Korean in her free time when she is not watching her kid. She and Solomon were both very kind and dinner was wonderful as the food was great and the company was excellent. The friends that they brought happened to be two Vietnamese students from the local university who study business. They spoke great English and everyone had the good sense to leave all politics at the door. They were also most helpful in instructing yours truly on how to eat certain Korean goodies: it seems that I was eating the chili peppers all wrong.

On the whole it was a busy week. Sorry that this is such a long piece but it has been awhile since I wrote anything that wasn’t put into an envelope.

Take care of yourselves and those whom you love.

Peace,

sh